SMG: my unbiased review
|
| #1 Posted 1 year ago | Reply | notice the letters above the sparkles.
they happen to spell out "U R MR GAY." i believe i made a comment about this once. i bring it up again because it's true. if you buy this game, you are gay. not just because of the fruitiness of the game itself, that's just the icing on the shit cake. you are gay because you have miyamoto's dick shoved up so far up your ass and yet you're begging for more.
now nintendo fanboys (who i like to call "sheep") may argue that it is currently the #2 highest ranked game of all time on gamerankings. they fail to realize that this doesn't mean the game is any good, seeing as how GR's system for ranking is flawed. unlike rottentomatoes, which has a cream of the crop section to show only the reviews that matter, any random site can get their review on GR. the 97.4 that SMG has on GR is probably mostly comprized of nintendo fansites and sites who let fanboys review games on their respective consoles (*cough* IGN).
But i digress, the point of a review, after all, is to review the game and not the corrupt system. after all i had heard about SMG bringing innovation and reviving the platforming genre, this game delivers on neither. as for reviving the platforming genre, name 5 other platformers that have recently been announced. i can only think of 1 and that's shitzo kafloppie 3. as far as innovation, this is the most underwhelming game in recent memory. tell me if you've heard this before: Princess Peach (AKA mario's bitch) gets kidnapped, and the only way to save her is to run through 8 levels in about a million different ways to get stars. even IGN's Matt C, with sheepdom oozing from his every pore, said in his review that it's "MARIO 64 IIN SPAAAAAACE." the thing is, he tried to use it as a positive aspect, while to those of us without fanboy goggles, rehashdom is never a good thing. Mario 64 wasn't even that good of a game. it forced you to run around the same worlds over and over and over and over again, repeat ad infinitum.
sadly, SMG does the same thing, with the tacked- on gimmick of using the wiimote to pick up star bits. i honestly don't know what i expected, what with "tacked- on gimmick" and "wii" being synonymous, but this is hands down the most annoying aspect of this game. at least in ratchet and clank (which, by the by, is not a platformer, but a half-baked shooter) the goodies home in on you. why couldn't they do that in SMG? i'll tell you why, because they wanted to make it seem like it couldn't be done on any other platform, and the truth, unfortunately for sheep, is that it can. and i can safely say that this game would have been lucky to get a 6.5 on a real console like the 360.
the core gameplay is, unsurprizingly, more of the same old mario platforming, except that now you can go upside down and jump from planet to planet . nintendo's love of stagnancy is astounding. i read on their official website that the people who made SMG at first wanted to make a new IP, but Miyamoto, being the filthy asshole that he is, immediately squashed this chance for true innovation and said "I want to make something with nintendo characters instead." everyone at nintendo at that point went "So miyamoto spoke it! so it must be done! we must suck the dick of Miyamoto!" and thus, SMG was born. I keep hearing about the amazing level design, but all it really is is sunshine's bonus levels on a larger scale.
overall, SMG is a true dissappointment in every sense of the word. the wii still goes without a killer app after a full year on the market. the only reason it got the score it did from me was because nintendo finally pulled its head out of its ass and realized it needed orchestrated music.
3.9 |
|
|
| #2 Posted 1 year ago | Reply | 1. This is completely biased since you pour your seemingly unreasonable hate for all things Nintendo into it. If it was unbiased you wouldn't put ur hate for Nintendo as a factor.
2. A year with no Killer App? I think ur talking about the PS3.
3. This is a great game. it has some of the best graphics on the Wii so far and it's fun. Its controls are tweeked to almost perfection, and the overall gameplay is solid. BTW it's the 1st in top rated games on Game Rankings, I doubt 20 official reviewers are wrong (espicially Gamespot who gave it a 9.5 since they seem Anit-Wii). You probably haven't even played it anyway since if u hate Nintendo so much, why would u even have a Wii now or even bother to play it elsewhere. If you want to review a game give your opinion not the sense that your word is god. Nobody really cares what you say anymore. Besides weren't u banned. What's the matter? Get your Lucien account suspended as well... 
P.S. Your entire reviewed is flawed from the very beginning anyway when you commented about Rotten Tomatoes. See Galaxy's rating on Rotten Tomatoes and you'll see that you contradicted yourself... |
|
|
| #3 Posted 1 year ago | Reply | | Good thing you're a very reliable source. |
|
|
| #4 Posted 1 year ago | Reply | You're back??? Dang...
... why exactly?
lol You don't get Mario games do you? It doesn't matter that the princess was kidnapped or whatever. Platformers are just about getting to the end of a level, story doesn't matter in the slightest. Also, I agree completely with why you think 64 sucked. I hated the game for the same reason and I also thought the controls were a bit off...
I don't like when goodies home in on you... I want to feel like I'm in complete control of what's happening. Also it keeps your remote focused on the TV more often so when an enemy comes along you can shoot them more easily. You also don't seem to get that all consoles are gimmiks; cheap, plasticy pieces of crap and that's exactly what the PS£, 360 and Wii are, and I like them for that reason. You want a "real console" then go play a PC and stop wasting your time on machines that are specifically made for pick up and play.
What's IP stand for? Is that character? If so, mario games do not depend on Mario being in them to be good. In fact, just about any game that's good doesn't need good characters. All I want is a character, any character, and a challenge which is something Nintendo games do well. Also, I like the gameplay. It works soooooo well with the Wiimote and is not at all dodgy like 64.
You claim it got a good score because it had good music? Dude, that's the one thing people aren't talking about  The fact it's an immensly fun game is enough for the 9.7 rating it seems to be getting everywhere.
Side note: Assasin's Creed: 5/10 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
| #7 Posted 1 year ago | Reply | | I knew this guy was lucien. |
|
|
| #8 Posted 1 year ago | Reply | I knew this guy was lucien.
who?What's IP stand for?
intellectual property. google it up, that is, if you know how to use google.You claim it got a good score because it had good music? Dude, that's the one thing people aren't talking about
i said I boosted the score because of the music. and yes, almost every review mentions the orchestrated music.You also don't seem to get that all consoles are gimmiks; cheap, plasticy pieces of crap and that's exactly what the PS£, 360 and Wii are, and I like them for that reason. You want a "real console" then go play a PC and stop wasting your time on machines that are specifically made for pick up and play.
shouldn't you be upgrading your graphics card right about now?Good thing you're a very reliable source.
i'm glad to see that you've come around to liking me. hopefully, we can put our prior squabbles behind us and become friends.  Your entire reviewed is flawed from the very beginning anyway when you commented about Rotten Tomatoes. See Galaxy's rating on Rotten Tomatoes and you'll see that you contradicted yourself...
rottentomatoes compiles reviews for movies, not games.A year with no Killer App? I think ur talking about the PS3.
ps3 has no killer app either. 360 is the only good console on the market. |
|
|
| #9 Posted 1 year ago | Reply | Yea, ok, that's not biased at all.
*rolls eyes*
The fact you would go through all that trouble to insult a game is really REALLY lame. Or your just looking for attension. |
|
|
| #10 Posted 1 year ago | Reply | | my god you're a fucking moron. |
|
|
| #11 Posted 1 year ago, in reply to post #10 by lucienlachance | Reply | | you must be lucien. obviously there must be some confusion, as many people are under the impression that we are one and the same. however, having looked at your posts, you make yourself out to be all anti-wii, YET you hype the trash that this thread happens to be about. you, my friend are a pathetic fakeboy, and despite how much you suck my dick (i did see that the first posts you made were sucking my dick; that won't get you brownie points with me), you will never be as awesome as i am. |
|
|
| #12 Posted 1 year ago, in reply to post #11 by 6ixty4our | Reply | in order to troll against a game, you need ammo against it. SMG has no good ammo against it. and despite what you think, you don't have ammo against it. you have bullshit ammo. there's a name for what you're doing: grasping for straws, and it makes you look like more of an idiot than if you fakeboy.
you truly know nothing of the art that is trolling.
Also, what is with your fixation on sucking dicks? |
|
|
| #13 Posted 1 year ago | Reply | | Your insane... |
|
|
| #14 Posted 1 year ago, in reply to post #1 by 6ixty4our | Reply | I must say ... this site has a very liberal ban policy.
On the discussion of the review:
I'll admit I haven't played the game ... but, reading your "review", I get the impression that you haven't either. Your main criticisms insults target Nintendo, and Shigero Miyamoto and do not focus on the game itself. Where you do focus on SMG ... you jeer at the fact that it is a platformer. The details you do mention seem like things I could have easily seen in an SMG trailer.
But, that's all speculation on my part ... |
|
|
| #15 Posted 1 year ago, in reply to post #11 by 6ixty4our | Reply | 1. How the hell did you get unbanned?
2. It is now obvious you are just trolling the shit out of this place and therefore I return you to you ban.
Also both Lucian and 6ixty4our are amusingly the same person...
lolz @ arguing with yourself! |
|
|
| #16 Posted 1 year ago | Reply | Hurray for IP tracking, I've been on boards with trolls that reply to their own posts before and it's the hieght of internet stupidity. There's only one comment in this thread I even feel worth responding to.3. This is a great game. it has some of the best graphics on the Wii so far
Saying it's the best graphics so far on the Wii isn't really a good case, it's like saying Halo 3 is the best FPS on the 360, it's not like either had much competition. |
|
|
| #17 Posted 1 year ago | Reply | | How did he get unbanned? |
|
|
| #18 Posted 1 year ago, in reply to post #15 by Kroze | Reply | What a freaken loser- fighting with himself.
Oh well. Instead of locking this, why don't we actually discuss if we liked the game or not? Just a suggestion |
|
|
| #19 Posted 1 year ago | Reply | 1. It was super easy to tell 6ixty4our was Lucien since he trolled like 6ixty4our pretty much as soon as he was banned.
2. It was 100x easier to tell he was arguing with himself when I read the Lucien's and 6ixty's comments, So easy in fact I don't think anyone needed to confirm IPs.
3. How about we make a separate topic to discuss that Ammaderasu. Better so that we don't have to remember that annoying troll that nobody cares about anymore. I'll start! |
|
|
| #20 Posted 1 year ago, in reply to post #19 by Sephirex | Reply | | 4. Two users who have been banned for a long time ... suddenly show up at the exact same time, posting in the exact same thread. |
|
|
|
|
| #22 Posted 1 year ago | Reply | | Too late. I've already posted my review for Mario Galaxy. Please read and comment |
|
|
| #23 Posted 1 year ago, in reply to post #20 by OverMind | Reply | | They're both part of a complete n00b troll forum... forget what it's called. If they are in fact not the same person (even though they most likely are) then one will have PM'd the other saying something like "Hey! We've both been unbanned on abridged!". I'm guessing it will have happened a few weeks ago when the forum went down. That will have reset the banned list or something like that... then again, I don't really care too much Now we can all be sheep in peace. |
|
Add Post
You must login before you can post. If you don't have an account, please register with us. |
